08:favorite song ?
Oh gosh, I can never have an ultimate favorite, but right now I’d say it’s “Say Hello to the Angels” by Interpol.
23:how have you felt today?
Oh, a bit of this and that. I’m procrastinating packing (leaving the dorm this week), feeling a bit lethargic and lazy, a bit stressed, but over all I’d still say I’m pretty good. I crave non-pre-packaged food though. For realz, I cannot wait to eat healthy again.
42:do you like meeting new people?
Honestly…. yes and no. Normally, it’s cool. Right now…. not a ton? I just find social interactions abnormally exhausting right now, I find people to be exhausting right now, and meeting new people and making new friendships is even more so because you have to be constantly aware of how things are going, what to say, what not to say, until you can effectively gauge that person’s comfort levels and sense of humor and what not. Unless the individual was really chill and treated the whole thing like no big deal, in which case I’d probably be fine with it. Guess overall it depends on the person and circumstance.
41:if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Whether they did or did not is up to them. It’s none of my business unless they wish to make it so.
But if they did, and hoped for anything to come of it, I’d want them to tell me why. It’s the question I always ask if someone tells me they like me.
Because I want to know their motivation. I want to know what they see in me that appeals to them. It tells me about them, and about what they expect of me.
Do they see me? Or my exterior?
Me? Or what I do?
Me? Or what I can do for them?
Do they like me as a person, all that encompasses me, or do they like a fraction of me, a fragment, a teeny piece that meets their criteria, and the rest is fluff and facade and illusion? Do they like me, or their idea of who I am?
Too often I find people end up developing feelings for me based on who they think I am, rather than taking time to get to know who I actually am, and when I do something that breaks the spell, they get angry and disappointed in me for not being who they thought I was.
So I’d like them to tell me why.
09:kiss on the first date?
I’ve actually never been on a date! And I had my first kiss less than a year ago. xP So I suppose those things combined… likely not?
24:you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
Right now… It’d likely go straight into the bank, or be spent on Christmas presents. x:
37:did you have a dream last night?
I dream every night c: (everyone does apparently) but I can’t always remember my dreams. I had a very poor sleep last night, and as a result, cannot remember what I dreamed about. I recall sheep though. Or a ram, rather. But that’s all.
44:ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
Ehhhh…. First time admitting this I think, but yes.
My first time trying self harm was at 13. Very dramatic and silly. But there have been some off and on struggles that followed. The “rule” I made after doing it the first time was that I’d never break the skin again (which I figured made it “ok” or “not so bad”). Sometimes I wonder if I made that rule though so there would be no tell-tale signs.
I’ve never starved myself intentionally. Some days I’m lazy or distracted (painting, video games, drawing, etc) and kind of… forget about the existence of food lol, or don’t realize how hungry I am. And I think overall I probably don’t eat as much as I should. It’s not intentional though.